Is there a Chicago gay bar for people who can’t hear in loud, crowded bars? No? Drat.
Here’s me confessing that I can’t hear you. Well, if we’re in a loud environment.
I have pretty good hearing. My tinnitus is there, and the engine room in the sub caused some damage, but for the most part I’m good. Except when there is background noise.
At 58, nearly 59, which is nearly 60, I’m not worried about my hearing. Unless I’m in a restaurant or at a bar.
Here’s my rant: every gay bar in Chicago is actually secretly a 100db dance club. Well, I haven’t been to all of the bars (most, probably, but not all). It seems the ambient noise level must be at 100 db (yes, I do use a phone app to measure). At my favorite spot, which I’ll call ‘Distractions’ because I ‘m not here to trash any one bar, I generally can’t hear any specific conversations. If I’m talking to my friends, I can lean in close and generally keep up with what is being said. It’s work, but I can get through it.
The other Saturday, I was at a birthday party at Distractions and was meeting new people (younger people). I did a lot of smiling and nodding because I couldn’t hear what was being said. I asked a few times if the person could speak louder, and they did for a sentence or two, but then they stopped. Maybe they don’t want to shout? I don’t know, but in a very short amount of time I’m back to just nodding.
But I still think of him as my dentist first, my secret identical twin brother second
The problem with nodding along is when someone says something important like “and that’s when my mom was eaten by a pack of dramatic capybara” or “but I still l think of him as my dentist first, my secret identical twin brother second“, you should respond. But I’m just smiling along. I look like an idiot. Because I am.
Now I just concentrate on the videos on the screens. I seem aloof, like I don’t care to talk to people. Or I don’t want to meet new people.
I’m pretty social, so I don’t think that’s it.
at 8pm the music got turned up to dance club 100db volume and the bar crowd, generally on the older side, instead of breaking out into dancing just had to shout, louder, to be heard
Maybe I’m just picking the wrong places? There was a Martini bar near me, Marti’s, that’s closed. It was a nice place, small and generally crowded. Depending on the day, and the staff, it could be a quietish loungey place. But religiously at 8pm the music got turned up to dance club 100db volume and the bar crowd, generally on the older side, instead of breaking out into dancing just had to shout, louder, to be heard. Now the loud music and the loud shouting make it impossible for me- but crucially not anyone else. People don’t finish up and leave, they just shout louder. This isn’t a problem, except for me.
The answer is obvious- I just need to stay out of bars. I need to convince my friends to meet in quieter restaurants or maybe host brunches or lunches where I can control the volume.
I don’t think my husband will go along with this, though. I’m newish to Chicago, but he’s a native and all of his friends hang out at Distractions, or the downtown bar The Upper Room (but it’s certainly not called The Upper Room). They all seem to chat along, understanding each other, enjoying the noise level.
there could be gay bars that just keep the volume down, music at 60 db?
It would be great if bars could have a ‘lounge vibe’ day in the week or in the month- music levels lower (maybe 60 db?). Larger bars might have a lower volume area? Sure, it would skew older and maybe all the older men would be stigmatized to be there (“does my older age make me look old?”). Maybe, and this is radical, there could be gay bars that just keep the volume down, music at 60 db? That acknowledge some of us have a hard time hearing but still want to be included in the community. Maybe.
Is there a way for someone like me to hang out in the gay bars in Chicago? Probably not.
